Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
