I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
