Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
