Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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