I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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