How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
