she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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