I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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