In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
