Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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