Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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