I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
