I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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