The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
