Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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