I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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