your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
