I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
