So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize