Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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