Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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