escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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