ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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