Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
