Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
