i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
