you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
