I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
