So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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