I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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