he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
