what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
