She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
