new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
