Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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