just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
