We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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