How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
