There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
