he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
