doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You ate ashes out of my bong
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
