well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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