His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize