Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
