Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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