I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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