The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
