I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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