so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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