I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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