we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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