If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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