My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
