Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize