We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
