i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize