hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
