Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
