and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
