don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
