i jhust puked up my retainher.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
