I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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