I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
