Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
