Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
